6.30.2006

A ton of bricks

And so it hits...
I was ironing a skirt this morning when I realized that the last time I had worn it had been on a sunny April Friday when I took Pepper to work with me. I remember walking her back up to the office after visiting the park blocks and how she pranced along right beside me and was so happy. At one point I looked down and she looked up and, as cheesey (keeping with the theme) as it sounds, I know she was loving me as much as I was loving her. I can't believe she isn't mine anymore. I can't believe that I am never going to have her sit on my lap or put her head on my shoulder when I am driving. I can't stop crying and I have to go to work in 10 minutes. I miss my life, I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss my dog, I miss having people around who get me and like me anyway, I miss Portland, I miss routine, I miss it all. I don't want to start over anymore. I want my dog back and I want my life back and I want to come home. I'm not nearly as brave or strong as any of you gave me credit for -- at least not right now.

And, if any of you are new, Pepper was my dog. Now she is someone else's dog.

1 comment:

LeeAnne said...

I'm so sorry you're homesick... you do have a lot of love being sent your way, if that helps.