White knuckling it

Sorry! Sorry! I know I have been a bit of a slacker on the blogging front. It isn't for lack of thought. Actually, I blame too much thought for my reluctance to write. It has been a tough few weeks. Poor Tom was subject to many crying fits and periods of serious Katie-in-the-pit thrashings. This is hard. I love him so much and want so much to be where he is every second of every day. There was some worry that we would be on each other's nerves when his trip ended, but I was more in love with him on day 20 than I was on day one. It is so easy and so fun and so natural to be together, I have no doubts that he is the love I was made to be with.

So I have this great, supportive relationship and I am a mess in the face of it. Being away from everything that I love -- Tom, my friends, my family, even the great yellow light and blue sky of a Portland September -- is tearing me up. I feel like I can't get my footing here, though I am very aware that I am having an amazing experience while slipping around. Whenever I go to the really dark place of doubt, I remember that I have people pulling for me -- people who believe I can do this, and they aren't only in America -- some of them are friends I have made here. The very best part is that I know these people will support me if I come home early or decide that I can only do one year here. No matter what, I will not regret this.

As I am writing, I am playing my "Trust Yourself" play list on iTunes. I cannot tell you how much it helps to have a soundtrack of kick-assity. As "Midnight Radio" plays in the background, I know that I will be all right...just like Hedwig.

And for the record, my mom is the best mom in the entire world. I get to hug her in just under two months!