The most trivial post ever.

It has been a busy week of job interviews, afternoon trips to IKEA, long walks in the sunshine with the Beets, blogging on Smiling Magpie and finding some kick ass vintage pieces in hot pink and orange cotton print. After my initial post-job loss moping, now I am trying to take advantage of every minute of free time with a giant smile on my face. All is good.

During my dog walks, I have lots of time to think about important things like how to conjugate "to be" in Dutch and my definitive list of iconic hairstyles that I have tried over the years.


1. Louise Brooks - the short bob. This would have been the perfect cut for me if I didn't have giant cowlicks that kept the bangs from hanging straight. Instead of being sleek flapper girl, I looked like I was growing horns. #4 - same problem. Once, after an ill-advised perm in the 80s, I learned that, with this cut, I bear a striking resemblance to a mushroom cap.

2. Mia Farrow - the short cropped 'do in Rosemary's Baby. I had this cut in the early 90s and if I ever tell you that it was my attempt to be part of the whole Riot Grrl thing, I am lying to you. I was actually attempting to look like a Giorgio Armani ad. It didn't work.

3. Nana Mouskouri/Marlo Thomas hybrid - the parted in the middle, shoulder length, no bangs style that had more bounce (read: class) than it's Lori Partridge/Marcia Brady counterpart. This tells the world that you do not wear cut off shorts, drop acid or fancy men with feathered hair. Can also be parted on the side and held with a barrette in order to look vaguely French.

4. Bettie Page - short Frankenstein bangs are key. Very few people look good with this haircut, but its a requirement if you ever want to take swing dance lessons, wear "Emily Strange" clothes after 17 or dye your hair pitch black. All of which I have done.

5. The Darren Star girls: Kelly Taylor ("Beverly Hills 90210" season 6) and Jane Mancini ("Melrose Place" seasons 1 & 2) - short blond hair with many bobby pins (predating another Darren Star girl, Carrie Bradshaw, who also seemed overly fond of said pins). The short hair was just the thing when one was battling cocaine addiction with one's artist boyfriend (Kelly) or dealing with one's fillandering doctor husband while living in an incestuous apartment building filled with obnoxious advertising execs (Jane). Of course my love of this hair is clearly derived from my first hair icon: Dorothy Hamill.

I have given each of these styles repeated tries, but nothing really worked for me and my cowlicks until I moved to Amsterdam and found Franc. He looks at me and says, "Zo. Vat should I do today?" I tell him this and that and then he proceeds to give me the exact same cut every time. And even though I get pissed that he ignores me, Franc does know best. He found my perfect haircut: the *(&W)!) Shag.

The hair of the Bay City Rollers, Leather Tuscadero, Carol Brady in the final two seasons of "The Brady Bunch" and countless JCPenny catalog models from 1976 is my best look. Who would have thunk it? Though this may be the most trivial of all blog entries ever, I felt the need to share because there is a good chance that when I get off the plane in Portland in a few weeks, I may look like this:


I thought you should know. But if British comedians (like Noel Fielding of the hilarious "Mighty Boosh", above) are rocking the modern shag, at least I know I am in stellar company. Because we all know that British comedians lead the parade of hair trends. Don't you all remember the Dudley Moore curly mullet in "10?" The balding comb-over of John Cleese in everything?

Jeez. This is so vapid I need to go plant a tree or fight crime just to redeem myself. Apologies for the trivial rant!